The Pretend Writer

No One’s Been Arrested so I Call That a Great Week!

Apr 11

MeaganUncategorized apologies, boad, chad, courtesy call, hell, high maintenance, holy bat, horse to water, kris, lingo, maintenance issues, patience, shoulder shrug, sleep, squirrels, starbucks, stephen colbert, top of the world, unexpected gift, world christmas 3 Comments

Oh gawd, shwew,  what a week… quite an adventure. No one’s been arrested, so I call that a great week! I need a day to sleep in and watch movies all day ah… Sunday  Funday.  Perfect.  If you didn’t join me on my adventure here’s what you missed…

The week couldn’t have started out better with Mimosa’s at 11, but I’m pretty sure Starbucks has it out for me. Really WTF Starbucks Guy! Are You Tryin-a Kill Me? I definitely wasn’t fooling anyone, except myself, with my high maintenance issues, or lack thereof … your choice really. Never Test My Patience Sweetie, I’m High Maintenance

I found these squirrels. Where the hell did those squirrels come from anyways? I’ve Never Been as Fond of Squirrels as I am Now. Kind of an unexpected gift, I think. However, if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t have new lingo.  Now we just go around saying for the love of squirrels (via Kris at Pretty All True) and holy bat squirrels!!  Apparently though, they upset Stephen Colbert according to one of my readers… well, at least I’m pretty sure that’s what her DM meant.  So I had to suck it up and say … My Sincerest Apologies to You, Stephen Colbert

I did find the buy of the century, it was grand. I was on top of the world! Christmas Came Early This Year. And I got my first “courtesy call” of the season,  Well… Lucky Fuckin’ Me.

I tried to tell Chad with his Accidental Sexting – Noooooooo! he could’ve got a dinner out of it if he’d played his cards right! But shoulder shrug whadaya do? You can bring a horse to water … Something about that statement doesn’t boad well with me… I know he could’ve got a movie out of it too.

I hope you had as GREAT of a week. Schpanx for reading!