The Pretend Writer

O to the M to the mutha fuckin’ G!

Apr 13

MeaganUncategorized 2 Comments

Look. What I found at work this weekend. No. Way. This couldn’t happen twice in one week… I know what you’re saying where is my loyalty to the slipper genie? Its not that I’m not loyal, the walking paths in my house have never been so clean. I mean walking-cleaning walking-cleaning, fuckin’ brilliant. Once in a while, on commercials (I know, I know I don’t like DVR) it’s made me get up and do the once around the house … AND I’m doing an extra lap so I’ve checked exercising off the list too…cleaning, exercising who can go wrong?

It’s just, that when I opened the page I swear I thought it was for pedicures. I mean, do you see her toes? Then, they have to fuck with me when I actually read what it is… such high expectations. In an instant, my pedicure toe separator with dual foot warming action dreams where squelched. What’s more is it’s less than half off.  Score!

I’m mean it woulda been perfect. I’m always “girl freezing,” we all are, its a scientific fact. You know the drill… We’re cold and automatically stick our ice cubes on the warmest place on your body at that moment. And you could have been like, “Hey, get your pedicure slippers on” and a little hurt and offended I’d be all like “but you’re warmer” … Hum. Maybe they’re not such a great buy after all. Ok, everything is alright with the world again.

Oh yeah, and put down the cigars and pipes apparently some crack pot thinks they’re dangerous. You’re welcome.