The Pretend Writer

Thanx, I Know I Won’t be Judged

Apr 15

MeaganUncategorized bad ass, blah, dirty laundry, disbelief, drug money, earrings, enough money, good liar, holy shit, hooker, hoops, mary jane, police department, prostitution, reality tv, snickers, suing the police, tax return, vagina, walks of life 3 Comments

So yesterday I hadda go to court. The regular run of the mill trumped up prostitution charge. Naw, I wouldn’t do that, not enough money in it to be worth my while it’s morally wrong. And becoming a short term vagina-terian isn’t really that appealing to me.  But I did wear my hooker hoops (earrings) so it’s kinda the same, right?  Actually, it was for being such a bad ass. That’s right, 5′2” 115 105 lbs of pure bad ass.  No really, you’d be a-scared.

Oh, ok, I’m not a good liar, just ask Dan (at Jane, You Ignorant Slut). That was just more interesting than writing about what actually happened. No big deal. The basement flooded and needed repair, but was over charged $1,000 for services, blah blah blah. So, now, you know real life… kinda boring.

But… when I was at court, OMG, I got to hear other people’s dirty laundry and I am a LOVER of reality TV, yes lover. And, this, was nearly as good.

It was a room filled with various walks of life slouched in their seats, bored. Mundane case after mundane case, waiting out a long morning irritated that they aren’t next.  We were all listening with half attention… at first.  As the next case played out everyone started sitting up straight, listening intently, and looking around at each other with uncomfortable snickers in disbelief. This was it.

This was the holy shit, is this really happening in front of me case. The 20ish year old kid was suing the police department to get his drug money, I mean his girlfriend’s tax return (which is totally believable), back that he happened to have on him along with the 6 grams of mary jane. I live for this shit people. I just want to say thank-you because anything I was there for meh, no one’s gonna judge it now or even remember it.

And… the moral of this story keep your drug money in a balloon and swallow when needed.