The Pretend Writer

Well… Lucky Fuckin’ Me

Apr 09

MeaganUncategorized 1 Comment

Oh no, not this talk again… you know I love you and appreciate you most of the time. It’s just that, well, the garage sale shit… it’s driving me nuts. If you’d like to buy 10 vases for $1, great. I’m not saying that you didn’t get a deal, I’m just saying that I would prefer not to get 9 green vases from 1975. I would prefer to get 1 package of doughnuts from right before you come over.  Thanx!   But I will have to say a gracious thank-you, you’re bringing up my recycling points and in two years we may have $5 in points if we keep up this pace.

I’m not sure how many pillows you need that say “Kissed By An Angel” to put on your bed for decoration, but, I don’t need any… regardless of the craftsmanship, and again, yes, it was truly superb. And surely, I don’t need more than one.  But yes, it was pure luck that you found another. Pure. Luck. Lucky fuckin’ me.

But… have you ever seen them here? No. That’s because the items that come in the front door go out the back after you leave. So, when you ask 2 years later, with your elephant like memory, where that pillow is you bought to put on the bed… when I stammer and say “hummm, I dont know…” it’s because it’s gone. Yes, gone. Fuck, I really thought I flew under the radar with those, shit! You’ll still bring me doughnuts, right?

I know you’re on to me since we’ve had this talk every year now for the past 10 and I do appreciate the pre-buy do you need this? call, but if you find any naked playing cards – get those, I don’t need the call for an OK they’re always on the list.