WTF Starbucks Guy! Are You Tryin-a Kill Me?

Apr 05

So… today I woke up with a pounding headache. It was 11 am, that’s right I said 11 am. Don’t ask me how I managed that! But well, the thing is, I missed my caffeine window and thus ended up with the caffeine headache. I did NOT realize I was a caffeine junkie until that moment, I needed my fix. Bad. Where is the closest coffee shop? Ahhh, Starbucks!

In my best I just got up raspy voice, “What-da-ya have with the most espresso?”

All I heard was, “blah-but-tee-blah 3 shots of espresso.”

I’m like, “3 shots! Yeah! That’s the one I want!”

And he’s all like, “Well, hey, we can do a 4^th shot for free.”

Mesmerized by the offer I think my eyes lit up in what I can only imagine was similar to a child who realizes for the very first time that on Halloween candy is given to them and parents stand there and encourage running to the next house to get even more candy.

I sucked that drink down in minutes flat! I was sure it was going to give me some kind of super-mom boost of energy that apparently the other moms have naturally… and stop my headache. But something went a rye apparently 4 shots of espresso aren’t compatible with a 115 105 lb frame. Within the hour I felt shaky, and I’m pretty sure my hair was vibrating.

I guess racing thoughts is another side-effect. Here is a peek inside my world …wow that was a lotta caffeine. …whose idea was that anyways? …huh I wonder how much laundry can I get done with all this energy? (walk away in the middle to start another task) …. huh, I can’t concentrate on anything (walk back to finish the laundry I started).

So I had to let everyone know this was going on and that I may have a stroke due to an overdose of caffeine intake so I yelled, “If I die or have a stroke make sure to sue starbucks! It’s all their fault!” The only issue with it was I just randomly yelled it from the laundry room not sure if anyone heard.

But thankfully I didn’t die or worse yet have a stroke – obviously or I wouldn’t be writing this. But hey, thanks starbucks guy you’re a god! My headache — gone!